Agony of Wait

Dear Church Family

   Here we are in May, and we still struggle with when will all this end? We still struggle with what will the new order look like? Will anything ever be the same? Most of those answers are not going to make us happy. In fact, we probably need to admit, that what we have known and gotten comfortable with, won’t ever be the same. It sounds like doom and gloom, but we are in the Easter season and the coming of the Holy Spirit to help us in Pentecost. We are more like the early church than we have thought we were. It’s time to let God help us in these moments of change, uncertainty and a lot of grief.

   Speaking of Grief, we need to learn that yes, mourning the losses we have faced is healthy, if we recognize that grief is important, and that it is permitted for Christians, and that we can learn a great deal from those genuine emotional moments. Let me offer some hope and help in times like this. As you know we have all been through some losses. I’ve experienced many levels and situations of grief myself, which I hope has made me stronger and a better follower of Jesus. As many of you know, my mother was killed in an automobile accident, when a truck ran a red light. To make matters worse, it was on my son’s birthday when it happened. I’ve seen parents, in-laws, and grandparents die. I’ve been fired from work. I’ve been diagnosed with cancer, twice. I’ve been divorced. I can relate to a lot of what we are going through now.

   What helped me was recognizing that God is here in the middle of this grief, not absent from it. All we have to do is see Jesus in the garden praying that this crucifixion might pass, and hear his words on the cross, to know God is still with us. There are several ideas we can consider when we are in our grief period, and I hope you will see them for their healing power as well. I have shared these thoughts in funeral messages, but I think they are very relevant for today as well.

   Express your grief. Give yourself permission to feel the pain of losing someone, or some memories or experiences or dreams that now cannot be. Grief has many dimensions and there is no one way to experience this, but you will probably feel all of them and then again when you least expect it. But it contributes to healing. There is shock and disbelief. There is anger and rage, it seems so unfair or mean. There is depression and sadness. There is guilt and regret, sometimes we become aware of things we did not pay attention to at the time, and now they really hurt us. There is anxiety and frustration, because we cannot control what is happening to us, and we hate not having some control. With time there is relief and release. But all of a sudden, a song, a picture, a memory or dream pops up out of nowhere, and we jump to one of those again.

   Please remember that the grief you feel, is the price we pay, for the ability to love. This is especially true when a loved one dies. But in this pandemic, that we can’t do something we want to, makes us realize how important that was, but we may not have recognized it. Hugs in church come to mind.

   Ask God to help you. God is an ever-present source of comfort and hope. Just ask!

   God promises help in Scripture, and that’s why I urge you to read it so often. “God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in time of trouble.” Ps. 46. “He heals the broken hearted and binds up their wounds.” Ps. 147. “He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more.” Rev. 21. “When you pass through the waters I will be with you; and through the rivers, they shall not overwhelm you, and when you walk through the fire, you shall not be burned…for I am there by yours side.” Isa. 43. And Jesus said, “Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted.”  Matt. 5.

   Try to develop a positive avenue, we will find a way forward. Keep on thinking about ways you can grow in your faith.

Blessings to you all.                 Pastor Jeff