Can Gratitude Help you Change?

 Day 5

Has something in your life been changed by being grateful?

This is a tough question at first glance. I don’t know that something specific has happened because I’m grateful. But looking back over life, even these two very difficult years, I’ve found plenty to be grateful for. I think the gratitude component has kept me from going too deeply into discouragement. I find that most of life is not what we conjure up in our own vivid imaginations. When we go with what we imagined, it will always disappoint us. Too much emphasis on the what "didn’t happen" can drag you down tremendously.

One of my antidotes to that kind of discouragement is a list of thanksgiving hymns and songs, and listening to them has been a great relief. May I recommend you spend some time over this weekend to look up some of your favorite hymns and songs of thanksgiving using YouTube as your source. Many churches and Christian artists have posted their versions of the hymns on YouTube. Use the search box, and type in your hymn and be prepared to see a long list and some songs that might go along with your search. Listen to a few, and it will give you a sense of gratitude that could help you change your emotional state, at least at the moment. Go ahead and try it. Don’t be afraid of newer versions or instrumentation either. Some of the videos are gorgeous in their depictions of the words and thoughts of the hymns as well. 

My shortened list includes: We Gather Together, Great Is Thy Faithfulness, The Doxology, Come, Thou Fount of Every Blessing, Come Ye Thankful people, come, Give Thanks with a Grateful Heart, and To God Be The Glory. You are welcomed to add your own. I’m also a big fan of Apple Music and have found many instrumentally rendered versions of these songs that you can listen to. My sound track has a bunch of Thanksgiving Dinner background albums to play while I’m working and writing and answering emails, especially this week. In a few days, I’ll switch over to Christmas Music.

Since the topic is change, I’ll wrestle with what kinds of things do I want to do differently moving forward? Can I show more gratitude to people who touch my life somehow? I read recently how important it is to verbalize our thanks to people we encounter on a daily basis. You might want to try and thank the cashier at the grocery store, or thank the delivery person, by going out of your way to say something. I’m sure you can think of people you might encounter who could be really blessed by your thanking them. McDonald’s window people? Another change for gratitude reasons would be to develop your meditation time, devotional reading, going to church or watching church if you can't go or shouldn't go. Extend how much time you actually spend in prayer. Time it sometime and see how long you do pray. This will shock you at how little it actually is sometimes. So in gratitude to God, pray more, and remember Anne Lamot's advice your prayer should include Help, Thanks, and Wow.

As promised early on in this blog series, here is a complete worship service from last year at my church, when we were on zoom and recording them. You are welcome to advance to the parts you are really interested in. You might find that slowing down to worship will help your soul a whole lot more. I know you have a dozen things you have to do still, but sometimes you can get more done after you are refreshed, than pushing through just to do them.

Have a blessed Thanksgiving.

Pastor Jeff

Here is a complete Thanksgiving Worship service

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jkw1Ed6n1rI&t=200s

NBUMC Worship 11 22 2020 - YouTube

Discover Gratitude Within

 Day 4    Where have you discovered gratitude within? 

We so often jump to what I need or want when we pray, that finding time to be grateful within, for the answers to prayer from previous occasions, takes some doing. We have to force ourselves sometimes to slow down and think about what we are truly thankful for.

“Tomorrow start spending five minutes each morning looking at God alone, giving all glory and worship to Him. List as many attributes as you can remember. List His creations. It gets much easier the more you do it. Soon you won’t have to set your timer. I promised  your life will never be the same again.” (Teaching Kids Authentic Worship) 

In this lesson on worship, I’ve begun setting my watch for a five minute period to start with gratitude.I also name as many things as I can be thankful for. Some days I look at each decade of my life to remember where God has blessed me in difficult circumstances. Some days I think and name the people who have touched my life, for which I am grateful. Sometimes I begin with favorite hymns that have blessed my life. This hymn from Carolyn Winfrey Gillette sums up an element of giving thanks in this difficult period of time too.

A hymn for Thanksgiving

God, Your Blessings Overflow

DIX 7.7.7.7.7.7 ("For the Beauty of the Earth")

God, your blessings overflow! What can we begin to say?
How can we begin to show, All our gratitude this day?
God, we join to worship you, Giving thanks for all you do.

Thank you for the life you give, For each friend and family,
For the land in which we live, For your love that sets us free.
Thank you, God, for daily bread, And for feasts of joy you spread.

Yet at tables where we share, Sometimes there is also pain.
There may be an empty chair: When will we feel whole again?
When our days of grief are long, Thank you that your love is strong.

So we join in thanks this day, So your gifts we freely share,
So we follow Christ the Way, Loving, serving everywhere.
Spirit, may our lives express, All our daily thankfulness.

Tune: Conrad Kocher, 1838, in chorale Treuer Heiland ("For the Beauty of the Earth")  (MIDI)
Text: Copyright © 1998 by Carolyn Winfrey Gillette. All rights reserved.
Copied from Gifts of Love: New Hymns for Today's Worship by Carolyn Winfrey Gillette (Geneva Press, 2000).

I also have begun to collect books on gratitude and thanksgiving. If you struggle with wanting to be more grateful within, I would recommend these books. I am grateful that Kindle has made my book buying so much easier. My mother was a librarian and taught me to love books. I always needed support for an idea and I would forget where I got it, but thankfully the books were nearby. My Doctor of Ministry taught me to save my books, heavily underlined, so that I could defend my dissertation easily. Hoarding can be a result of that attitude. Now I struggle to get rid of books in retirement., a story for another day, back to recommendations.

Deborah Norville Thank You Power. Great beginning to see the power and blessings of gratitude. Margaret Visser The Gift of Thanks: The roots and rituals of Gratitude can point you in several directions. Diane Butler Bass Grateful can be another way to develop a grateful heart. Anne Lamott Help Thanks Wow is more about prayer, but it essentially reminds us of how much gratitude and thanks giving should be done related to our time with God. Dallas Willard, a great resource for developing your whole spiritual life has a book on the 23rd Psalm that helps us see gratitude as well. Life Without Lack.

As my mother reminded me of how important sending thank you cards were after receiving gifts, we need to apply that to God’s touch upon our lives. Give Thanks with a Grateful Heart.

Tomorrow I’m going to share a link to a thanksgiving service for you to use either Wednesday night or Thursday morning to help you spend time with gratitude. I hope that the music, the prayers and the sharing of gratitude included in it will develop your gratitude within muscles.

Thank you for joining me in this journey of gratitude and thanksgiving. I am truly grateful that you stopped by to read this as well. Share with a friend who may need some encouragement and hope, especially now. We have been talking about the empty seats at the table this year. Like the hymn above, we remember those who cannot join us at the table and pause to remember them. May the Holy Spirit comfort you when you do that as a sign of gratitude for their footprint on your life.

Blessings

Pastor Jeff

To be continued….

Gratitude with Others

 Have you been grateful With Others?

Day 3 of my Attitude of Gratitude series leading up to Thanksgiving, I want to reflect on those moments when I have been grateful with others. I take this question from Diane Butler Bass, to mean celebrations that included other people in the gratitude.

Growing up, my family would head to Quakertown PA each thanksgiving to gather with my mother’s family. She had 2 brothers and a sister, and they would all gather at the oldest brother’s old country house for a weekend of feasting and family time. It was the one time a year, I would see all my cousins. There would be 12 of us cousins, I was the oldest by just a couple of months, we would get our own table, as many families do and remember I didn’t get to join the adult table until I was in 9th grade.

We pretended we were a poor Kennedy clan. Kelly and Irish after all, it was fun. There were three seminary graduates in the mix, a business man, and entrepreneur and a couple of school teachers among the adults. My other aunt was a secretary for my uncle. The host uncle was a former Pan Am pilot, had his own plane, and would fly us places on Friday just for fun. We buzzed the Statue of Liberty, kind of, once.

When I became a pastor there were Thanksgiving Eve services each year and those were always a chance to be grateful with others. My grandmother on my dad’s side always said we were descendants of William Bradford and the pilgrims. I developed a William Bradford story of Plymouth Plantation sermon in costume for those Wednesday night services. I even had the chance to camp in a trailer on Cape Cod and visit Plymouth a couple of times to help with the character development. I’ve done William Bradford for school thanksgiving events and for Elaine’s apartment complexes on occasions of Thanksgiving feasts for the residents.

Giving thanks with others, reminds us of how important community is. This pandemic has broken those apart, and I look forward to a chance to reconnect with community in those feasts and services in the coming future post pandemic. We truly need each other, and our gifts and experiences involve others, so saying thank you to God for that gift of fellowship is very important.

I’m also very aware how different everyone’s experiences are as well. For some Thanksgiving is a very lonely time, especially if you don’t have that kind of family or they are spread far apart and travel is difficult or impossible. For others in this particular environment we are in now, Thanksgiving may be extremely difficult because we want to avoid the class of ideologies, political persuasions, and comments on the current events. It’s so sad that a time of looking outward toward our Creator, has become such an inward focus for many. WE must find a way to change to focus back to God to enable us to get through some of this acrimony we are experiencing.

So your mission, should you decide to accept it? Is to focus on sharing God’s love with others. Looking for ways to help others experience Thanksgiving to the Creator. Maybe you can give money to an organization feeding others. Perhaps you can go and feed the hungry in community and homeless shelters. Perhaps you can focus on remembering the blessings of community and give thanks for that. You might even want to extend an invitation to your own meal to people who might be alone at this time.

If you are traveling in order to give thanks with others, be careful. Pray for safe journeys and good gatherings. Be patient with fellow travelers, please. These are very hectic times for the travel industry as well as those who want to get someplace special for the Thanksgiving celebration. Say thank you to the ticket agents, the baggage handlers, the travel assistants you may encounter. They are feeling very anxious, considering how many anger and violent issues have surfaced lately. Please be careful out there.

Happy Thanksgiving to one and all. Especially those with others in gratitude.

Pastor Jeff

Tomorrow, gratitude within explored.

Thanksgiving in the midst of Challenges

 What challenges have you been grateful through?

Day 2

This is much harder to do, because it doesn’t generally fit in your grateful/thankful list. But as I look back and try to think of where I am today and how I got here, there are some challenges that have become moments of thanks.

One of them is what happened at the end of Vietnam War. I was drafted and my number was 005, automatic. I received a student different since I was already in school. The war ended and the draft was suspended in the second half of my senior year, well after enrollment in seminary had come and gone. I was going to do my two years of alternate service for my country and had put off seminary for that reason. Then all of a sudden, I needed enrollment in seminary. I made the call to see, since I had missed ALL of the deadlines. Surprise, they had several openings all of a sudden, when many dropped out because the war was over. Not only did they have room, they suddenly had scholarship money available too. And If I wanted, I could do a summer internship just before Fall semester for Scholarship help as well. So what went from a challenge, became a whole slew of thankful moments.

Another challenge related to my first appointment in ministry. I had 3 small country churches on a charge, as UMC folks call them. After 3 years, Number 1 wanted to vote me off the Island. Number 2 loved what I was doing and wanted me to stay, and the 3rd did not want to break the tie. My superintendent met with them, and then told me not to worry, they had a great place for me next. It turned out to be my grandmother’s church in Baltimore City. That developed into a Cooperative Parish and I thoroughly enjoyed my ministry there. I could ride a bus to Memorial Stadium to watch the Orioles play, when they were in playoffs and World Series.  Many other adventures, but they might not have happened had the churches not been able to come to a consensus about my ministry. We had seen a great deal of growth and the church that voted me off the island, that was afraid the church would change too much if I stayed.

Another challenge was the sudden death of my mother in an auto accident on our younger son’s birthday even. In the midst of the awful shock, I came to see far more how others feel in tragedy. In the long run, it made me a much better pastor, especially to the grieving people in my churches. I also learned how helpful having family and friends rally around when there is a tragedy. A gift I might not have discovered. When the Beltway Sniper killed a church member, I was able to provide a great deal of comfort to the family and to the church because of my awareness of the tragedy and its pain.

In my divorce, I learned that what I thought meant the end of my ministry became a feature to understand 1/2 of my community where divorce occurs. Suddenly members of my congregation returned because they knew I would understand. Many of my leaders offered help because they too were divorced and re-married. It also made me very aware of how precious family can be and I am very sorry that I wasn’t aware of that before this. Pastoral ministry, especially living in the fishbowl next to the church, can have a tremendous impact on family. I’m not suggesting pastors have to endure all the challenges and hardships, but simply recognize a roll they play in helping others. In the church world it’s an example of Incarnation. God is with us, in our messy situations. Jesus born in a manger under Roman Domination, and persecution, help us realize that God does understand us, in ways we may not be aware of when most of life is going well.

Portraying William Bradford, of Pilgrim fame, put me in touch with Of Plymouth Plantation, fame, which introduced a whole level of tragedy and struggle over come to come to America. The myth of Thanksgiving we live with now, needs to be recovered with a sense of reality. But there are many really helpful and worthwhile lessons in that story for which we can be thankful in the challenge. Did you know that Squanto, the Native American who was so helpful to the Pilgrims, was captures by pirates, sold into slavery in Spain, escaped, walked across Europe, was rescued by monks, became a Christian and was helped to return to his native land. All just before he wad able to speak the language and the spiritual heart of those who he was helping in Plymouth. Fascinating story. So is the adventures of the pilgrims in Holland before they migrated to North America. To them it was Egyptian slavery and deliverance just like Old Testament story. Great reading and a real lesson on how we can be grateful in challenges.

So thank you Diane Butler Bass, for pointing us in the direction of giving thanks through challenges and tragedies. May each of you find some places that can become sources of gratitude that weren’t there originally in the midst of the mess.

Blessings

Pastor Jeff

Thoughts for Thanksgiving

 I'm starting a set of thoughts for Thanksgiving today, leading up to next Thursday.

To whom or what are you grateful?
What challenges have you been grateful through?
Have you been grateful with others?
Where have you discovered gratitude within?
Has something in your life been changed by being grateful?
In what circumstances have you experienced thankfulness?

(Diane Butler Bass) from The Cottage

To whom or what are you grateful?

Day 1

Giving thanks to Diane Butler Bass for her suggestions about what to consider for Thanksgiving instead of the usual “what are you grateful for?”

First of all I am grateful to God for the whole set of blessings in life in 70 years of it. They include what everybody would agree are blessings, and would also include the adversity I’ve had to go through, but that brought new qualities for which I’m grateful for as well. I’ll bring up the challenges I’ve been through in the next day’s sharing.

I am also very grateful for people who have blessed me in a life time of encounters.

I would have to include an English teacher in High School who pushed me so hard, that it improved my SAT scores, that would not have happened had she not have been so pushy.

I would have to include a College professor, who enabled me to expand my understanding of people who have totally different perspectives than mine, and allow me to grow in appreciation for the diversity and made it possible for me to accept far more people in the rest of my life because of that.

I would have to include teachers who introduced me to the value of drama and theater. It turned out, the class was to fulfill a credit, but years later proved to be extremely valuable. I was able to develop a whole set of Biblical and Historical characters for preaching and other celebrations, from what I learned in those classes. Taking part in theatrical productions, was a great gift.

I would have to include a Seminary teacher who opened my eyes to a wider variety of worship styles that served me well in 46+ years of ministry and worship leadership. It was particularly helpful during the Covid Pandemic when we had to pivot to different forms of worship away from the sanctuary. Having a strong foundation of options, made that easier.

I must give thanks for a dozen or so church leaders, who supported my ministry in official and unofficial capacities in those 9 congregations I served. They offered understanding, wise advice, and often the kind of walking along beside me, that I needed.

I must give thanks to several church staff members, who understood what I was trying to do and added their talents and inspiration to help us move in new directions. There are so many components of church life, no one person can manage it all.

I must also give thanks to the agitators in those congregations. Some really taught me to see other components. Some were destructive in their fighting against what needed to be done. I’m grateful in a sense, that I survived those encounters and that it brought me some patience in tough circumstances. Like Peter sinking into the lake because he took his eyes off of Jesus and became aware of his surroundings, Jesus reached out and pulled me out.

There were moments and events to which I am thankful

I just happened to be at General Conference when Cooperative Parish legislation was being discussed in a legislative section. I happened to be in a Cooperative Parish setting. I was invited to help the section deal with the legislation and ended up being included in the UMC Discipline because of that, even anonymously.

Four years later, because of my historical character portrayals, I became Thomas Coke meeting Francis Asbury at the original site in Delaware, for the whole world council of Bishops before the historic General Conference in Baltimore in 1984. It was a thrill to be a key part in that celebration. Right time right place, I had no idea. Grateful for those memories.

There are also fun weddings, great moments in a congregations history, Volunteers In Missions trips and much more, that I am recalling in my quest to be truly thankful for with the help of other people. I never could have imagined starting out that these moments and people would be included in my life time.

Before leaving today’s reflection…

I am truly grateful for my parents, who blessed me on my way. Who taught me what is really important, and who showed how God is the primary mover and shaper of life. On this day of my mother’s birthday, I remember all that she blessed me with, thanks Mom.

May you be blessed and grateful for The Who that blessed you.

Pastor Jeff

An Occasional Rant

 Good Morning, I'm trying to keep this more upbeat.

   On Oct 18 Elaine and I were rear-ended in traffic on our way home. The young driver was trying to merge out of a lane that was soon ending, and I was stopped because of the bumper to bumper traffic in front of me. WHAM, and it was very loud. Elaine suffered a little whiplash and is still working on the recovery. She missed a day of work for the discomfort. Thank God there is insurance on both parties.

   But what if there wasn't insurance and even insurance works in an insulated and out of touch time frame. Our car was towed to the lot the police said it should be towed to. So we had to get our insurance company to tow it to the acceptable repair shop. If it's not on their list, they can't pay for it as quickly, they say, and we become responsible for the initial payments until reimbursement comes. What if you can't afford that big an outlay first?

   We got a rental car, but insurance doesn't cover the whole time you need it for. Parts are delayed because of Covid, of course, and it takes longer than anyone thought. But the clock stops on the rental anyway. WE have to pick up the tab for that, with the hope the other insurance company will reimburse us, someday, but in the mean time, our money goes away for this.

   Today we returned the rental car, because it's so expensive to keep, and we were promised our car would be ready. Well it's not, something else was discovered as they were testing it to return to us. so another weekend and another week to go, maybe. I'm glad my PT is done, following my hip replacement surgery, so I can manage without a car, unless something comes up. This is going to add to the diminished value of our car, should we decide that because the damage was more than they expected, we will be very nervous about driving it. More on our nervous system.

   In the middle of this 25 day car hassle, Elaine's cousin died of complications from Covid. Now we are trying to juggle that, and the service they have asked me to lead to bring them some comfort from a familiar voice, and juggling how we can manage the disruption of life again, one on top of another.

   Covid has had influences on life, far more than we anticipated when this began. The Covid pandemic has altered the way we live on so many levels, that we aren't recognizing until an auto accident or injury introduces into the mix. We human beings need personal touch and support and connections, and for the family, not sure if it's wise with Covid in the mix, to do the normal, gathering, comforting, hugging each other things. Even the Funeral is going to be a hybrid, some in person, many on zoom, in order not to add to the devastating numbers, in our family and in general. Early on, weddings and funerals were the biggest spreader events, and we remember that. How Long Oh Lord! occurs to many of us in the middle of all of this.

   My rant, or discomfort, or blurting out, is because life has become so more complicated as we move on. Being a child was so easy, Mom and Dad, handled everything. Food was there, Homework, but all our friends were doing that too, and life seemed to be normal. Now people we love die, routines are disrupted and it may take weeks for what needs to happen to actually happen. People are not in touch with each other as we used to be. Animated phone calls can't help explain the unique circumstances that tragedy can inflict, and so we wait for a real person who has some power to do something unique because the computerized system doesn't know what Covid does to delivery schedules. But the real people decided that this was all too crazy and the highest number of people who did work, are quitting than has happened in 25 years. The vacancies are keeping us from getting answers...

   Speaking of job hunting. it used to be said, it's who you know that counts, but the who you know has turned over the job hunt to an animated system like Zip Recruiter, or Indeed or many others. The computer looks for trigger words that might fit the criteria, but if your resume doesn't know to include the trigger words, because you have done a unique and effective job but can't translate that to computerize, you can't get past the long line of applicants to fit the right job. My parents and Grandparents on both sides of my family lived into their 90's, which means I may be going into 100, if you just take the average increase of longevity from one generation to the next these days. I would love to continue to contribute using my talents and experience as long as I can. Moses didn't start until he was 80 for Pete's sake, But computer reviews look at the Date of Birth and discount you, not knowing a thing about you. When will this begin to be reviewed and reconsidered. How desperate do we have to be to rage against the machine....

   Okay, I've sounded off enough. I thank God, I can pray about this, and find comfort in God's presence with me in the middle of all of this. I wonder how people without faith resources are managing?

   Until next time, may God Bless you in ways you can recognize.

Retired and waiting Pastor Jeff

Today is for This and That

Today is for this and that.

Several ideas are rolling around in my head today, so I thought I would share them.

Election & the importance of being good citizens

Watching the election results and seeing the see saw affect taking place, I wonder if we are going to be stuck in that for a while. Maybe, as some have suggested, our two party system is broken and we may need to find a new way to go about gathering together and supporting people we think can offer the best solutions for our multiple problems. I know going independent is almost a kiss of death for candidates, so they fall back into red or blue rather than being able to set up what should be a good platform of ideas. Somehow, we need to re read the inspirational writings of the Federalist Papers and other calls to democracy to understand how this might work going forward. I did run for Congress four years ago and learned several things, I just have not been able to focus on them given the system as it is. You might want to look into Citizens Unite, a third party idea for regaining some perspective in the process for going forward.

Church Vitality requires developing disciples

   Watching what Covid did to churches, and watching the election results, and hearing from my friends in the church world, I believe we need a new way to develop fully devoted followers of Jesus. As I think about what's next for me, Discipleship Development, or whatever you want to call it is going to be a necessary part of any plan to bring vitality to the church. We have fallen down on knowing Jesus well enough to do what he would do in our variety of situations. Maybe because there are so many ideas, we end up being confused, or only partially hearing the message. Information overload is very powerful, at keeping us overwhelmed and in-active. There are so many divisions in the life of the Body of Christ, that we need to find a way to move forward in that world. Today I read an article about culturally diverse congregations are stronger than single culture churches, especially for today and going forward. It reminds us of what St. Paul said, that the body has many different parts, and the eye cannot say to the ear, I don't need you. But how do we make that work? What can motivate us to work harder at getting to know Jesus so well, we know how to act. He was the example we are to follow. Maybe we need a renewed emphasis on Gospel reading and digesting. Some of the answers will lie in stretching our attention span, reading larger sections in order to grow in understanding. John Wesley sure had a good idea about gathering people together to reflect and grow.

All of the above need a village, a community for support

   This leads me to wondering how do we develop support groups for growing discipleship. Can we carve out time to get together in order to encourage each other to faithFULLness? I love St. Benedict for the reasons that he offered a support system that was a blend of study and work, He knew both were needed, and during a dark time in world history, his communities provided a way forward. We are in similar circumstances right now. As Rick Warren prepares to retire his Purpose Driven Life and Purpose Driven Church come to mind as great resources worthy of re discovering. Maybe every fifty years is about right, but most of us don't span the time to be able to recover the good stuff from long ago. Kind of like a generation (40 years in Scripture), who didn't remember what God was doing. I'm reading a One Year Bible again, and I'm in Judges chapters. May we cry out to God to send us a leader. Prayer for our faith to follow Jesus, and our hope for the world we live in, should be a good start. Then find something, or somewhere to plug into a support group, family, church, whatever that could make this work.

On Top of Everything Else

   Elaine and I were rear-ended in our car two weeks ago. When it rains it pours.... The shipping backlog is affecting parts availability. We have been two weeks in a rental and the repair shop called to say they need another week to get it fixed and ready to go. Our insurance covered 5 or 6 days of rental coverage, the other insurance company will refund our money but we have to put it out first. Patience is such a touch character developer. At least we have a rental, at least we have the promise of reimbursement, and that includes doctor's visit, missed work, and diminished value on the car. Even though it's fixed, it will never be the same.... Our minds will always remember the horrible sound of the crash and wonder if there is something unseen, that didn't get fixed. Modern life nightmares. Please drive carefully, don't text and drive etc.

   Well, I hope I have given you something to think about. Prayers and Blessings for you all.

Pastor Jeff 

(I may be retired, but I'm still trying to encourage faith)